I found a literal goth house for sale in Baltimore and I am completely obsessed
You scroll through standard rowhouses and cottages, expecting the usual gray paint and white kitchens. Then you run into this place. On the outside, it looks like a quiet stone house, but once you look closer, things get wild.
The front porch
From the street, it just looks like a neat stone cottage with some sharp black trim. It is actually pretty charming.
The steps are painted black, and the siding is a heavy stone veneer that gives it a solid, fortress-like look.
Inside the front door
You open the door and immediately realize someone had a very specific vision for this place. Framed jerseys line the walls, and the floor goes straight from tile to thick carpet.
The living room is packed with leather recliners. It is clear this is a house built for serious lounging.
The storage under the stairs is stupidly clever. Yes, that is a full-sized upright coffin cabinet standing in the corner.
The main floor bar
Right off the living area, there is a dedicated media corner with a custom black bar. It is set up perfectly for watching the game.
Kitchen and dining
The dining area keeps the theme going with a black glass table and more framed sports memorabilia.
The kitchen is clean and functional, though they definitely did not compromise on the color palette. Every cabinet, appliance, and door is matte black.
The countertops are a light stone pattern that breaks up the darkness just enough so you can actually see what you are chopping.
Even the back door in the corner is solid black, matching the tile floors.
The bathroom
The bathroom keeps things simple but sticks to the script with a black shower curtain.
The bedroom loft
Head upstairs and the details get even more intense. The staircase opening is wrapped in custom spiderweb metal railings.
Then you see the bed setup. There are custom mirrors on the angled ceiling, complete with black crosses hanging over the mattress.
It is surprisingly spacious up here, with plenty of room for storage tucked into the eaves.
A black chandelier hangs right over the stairwell, casting shadows across the dark carpet.
Down to the basement
The basement is fully finished and looks like a great spot for movie nights. The walls are painted black, the ceiling joists are exposed, and they laid down soft carpet.
There are deep leather chairs set up down here. It is basically a private underground bunker.
They set up the screen right on the back wall. You could lose track of days down here.
The backyard cemetery
But the backyard is where the current owner really went wild. You walk out onto the patio and are greeted by a sign that literally says “CEMETERY” along with white crosses and a tombstone in the grass.
There is even a matching shed built to look like a stone crypt.
The yard is actually a really good size, fully fenced in so the neighbors do not get too distracted by your graves.
A concrete path leads past the graves to a big circular fire pit in the middle of the lawn.
The side of the garage features a massive painted mural of skulls and spiderwebs.
The outdoor bar
Under the covered back patio, there is a stone bar that rivals most local pubs. The ceiling is decorated with a giant rope spiderweb.
The masonry work on the bar is excellent. It is a serious setup with plenty of room for stools.
Behind the bar, you have a fully functional draft setup, complete with a kegerator labeled “Cemetery Gates” and shelves stocked with liquor.
